A Big Responsibility

When you grow up, you get thrust different types of responsibilities. And these responsibilities, in my opinion, have different levels of difficulty.

You’ve got a responsibility to be a decent human being, which somehow some people find this difficult. Trust me, it isn’t.

You’ve also got the responsibility of going to work and doing a good job, like finishing your tasks in an acceptable manner. Depending on said job, the difficulty here can vary.

Yet, later in life there are bigger responsibilities that you need to be able to accomplish every day to the best of your ability. These responsibilities are running a household, or having children. Those, I classify a little higher on the difficulty scale. It doesn’t come easy, you usually have a huge learning curve to be able to manage those types of responsibilities.

Now you might be thinking, where is she going with this? Is… Is she going to have a child?!? No, no goodness no. Not yet at least, I’d like to believe I have a few more years before that happens. No, what I’m trying to get at is that my significant other and I have recently brought on a new responsibility in our lives that surprised us, in a good way.

At first, I knew it would be a difficult responsibility and I was right, it was actually really hard to get used to it the first few days, but we’ve gotten pretty good at our schedule change. Our priorities have shifted immensely.

We got a dog. We adopted a rescue dog from Louisiana, who had a rough start at life. But he’s the sweetest thing so we decided now was the time to bring this family of 2, to a family of 3.

His name was Huey, but he never listened to that name so we’ve renamed him to Winston! He’s 2 years old, and he’s the sweetest thing. Full of energy, needs to learn a bit of discipline, but all around good dog that is fitting in really well with us. We’ve had him for 1 month as of today. I mean just look at him!

He’s a heeler mix. Basically the perfect herding or hunting dog and we’ve already fallen in love with the guy. We knew it would be a lot of work, but we were ready for the challenge and I think its safe to say we’ve succeeded so far as dog parents.

Since he’s a rescue dog, he has a few health problems. The first being heartworms, very common thing found in dogs rescued from the states, especially southern ones. He also had a nasty cough when we first had him, but that’s cleared up now.

You see, a dog is a big responsibility because this is a living breathing creature that lives for your attention and love. It can’t care for itself. It can’t let itself out to go do its business, it also can’t tell you when its feeling ill or wanting something.

I’m not saying having a dog is the same as having a child, but mildly. Also, having a dog isn’t cheap. You can’t just neglect visits to the vet, and those visits are extremely pricey. So don’t go into it thinking your dog will be the healthiest thing ever and he doesn’t need to go to the vet, because you’re wrong. Things happen, dogs get sick and you need to be prepared to deal with those situations as they come to you. (cats too!)

But a dog was a great idea, he brightens up the mood when we’re home alone and makes us laugh because he is just so goofy. If you feel like your life could use a pick me up, and you feel you could handle all the responsibilities that come with having a dog, then you should do it! It’s very rewarding.

 

Building a habit

So lately, I’ve done a lot of growing up.

I’ve forced myself to build certain habits to live a more efficient life which would in hopes make me live a happier life and so far, it’s working!

Being an adult is hard and I thought it would take me a long time to get the hang of it, but really it’s all about time management. I’m proud to say that even though I have been living on my own for a few years now, I’m starting to get the hang of this whole adulting thing. A lot of these habits are very recent changes that I’ve incorporated into my life. My boyfriend has been a great help in helping me stay true to these habits, to be quite honest we do most of these things together.

1. Grocery Shopping is done every single Sunday

-We have a list of all the items we need, they usually are always the same with very little variations. We buy just enough to last us the week, no more no less.

-Old Natalie would have waited to buy groceries randomly when she was out of something, so there wasn’t much consistency in having a stocked fridge in case of emergencies like company or work lunches                                                                            

2. Laundry is done every single weekend.

-We do one or two loads, depending on how many towels need to be washed, obviously, this isn’t a lot of laundry, but we’re just a household of two people, so we can’t really produce that much laundry. Our hedgehog has blankets that need to be washed, those get thrown in with the towels when we do a load of them. I even threw out or donated a lot of my old clothes that I didn’t need.

Old Natalie would have waited until she was either out of one of two things; socks or underwear. I had a LOT of clothes so that would sometimes last a long time. (You don’t even want to know how long.)

3. Meal prepping is done once a week usually on Saturday or Sunday

– Meal prepping has been a great help! We just make one big  meal and that lasts us almost all week. Occasionally we need to cook a slightly bigger supper in order to have leftovers for Thursday and Friday but we’re usually pretty on top of it. Plus, meal prepping means you can make healthy things. So even on the go, you don’t have to sacrifice quality for quick.

Old Natalie would have cooked very little and stayed with easy choices like KD and instant noodles. Not very healthy… Sometimes it was just easier not to eat at all, which is never a good idea.

4. Dishes are done frequently.

– It probably helps that we have a dishwasher and a double sink, but dishes don’t pile up nearly as much as they used to. Meal prepping has caused more dishes to be made, but at least now I do them. haha.

Old Natalie would have not done dishes. They were only done in case of emergencies. But sometimes a dish would get so bad, it was easier to throw it out than to clean it. I’m ashamed to admit that that’s happened more than once in the past. But it won’t happen again.

 

So yeah, those are basically the big habits that have been in effect for a while now. It’s safe to say I still have a lot to learn, like cleaning everyday household items, I need to get better at remembering to wash the floors, bathtub and other items more frequently. I’m not saying I’m disgusting, in any means, I still do those things, but I just wish I had a better cleaning schedule, in time I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it and I won’t forget those simple things, because let’s be honest, those chores don’t take long to do at all. Sometimes I’m just busy and it slips my mind or I’m lazy.

The road to adulthood is a long one, but I’m getting there, slowly but surely.

Good luck to all of the other young adults out there trying to figure out how to get their sh*t together. And also to the seasoned adults who have been at it for a while, but are still struggling with the same simple tasks. You give me hope that perfection will probably never be achieved, and I’m okay with that.

Never give up, always try to improve yourself!

Nat

What do you mean?

So here’s a quick update,

  1. Luc and I bought an aquarium and some fish.
  2. I’m starting school again really soon.
  3. I really enjoy cross stitching.

 

Alright enough of that, so I also had something really hilarious happen to me lately. Basically, Luc and I were texting each other one morning and the results were just too funny. Here’s what was said word for word.

Natalie: I don’t think I understood your last text.

Luc: What do you mean?

Natalie: Wow, I was just singing that song right now.

Luc: What song?

Natalie: What do you mean. It’s been stuck in my head all morning.

Luc: Natalie, I haven’t been home all morning, I couldn’t hear you singing.

(Facepalm)

Natalie: The song is called What do you mean by Justin Bieber.

Luc: Oh. That’s a stupid song name.

 

Literally the funniest text messages I have ever sent. To this day I can’t say what do you mean without cracking up. Reading over it now though it sounds kind of lame haha. Whatever. 😛

 

Connected Once Again.

Having no internet sucks. So the thought of moving and finding a new internet company seemed like a huge hassle. So I thought: ‘Hey, I kinda like the package that I’m using right now, I’ll just call them and tell them I want it transferred to the new location.’

It sounds dandy, but in reality it was horrible. We waited an entirety of 3 whole days for the dumbos to come install our internet but no one showed up, no one called to tell us why either. After the third stand up, enough was enough. I thanked them for their service but would not be needing it after all, called up the nearest provider that I knew was reliable and ended up getting an even better package than before. Nothing beats that!

So now I have the internet again which means I finally can get back to netflix! And cross stitching, seeing as all my patterns are online. Also video games! And buzzfeed oh and I listen to all my music on youtube so I get that back too! No more screaming heavy metal. yay.

To be completely honest though, it was kind of nice to not have any internet. I don’t want to seem rude but we were completely oblivious to what was happening out in the world. And it seems a lot had happened, horrible and tragic events that I’m sad about, but had no idea about without the internet.

Being disconnected made me want to lead a super simple life. It made me want to cook meals and try my hand at a little baking. It made me physically go to the movie store to rent some movies. It felt good to not be glued to a device or computer because I will admit, I use those a lot. It was also nice to not be constantly reminded of everyone’s birthdays on facebook.

I think everyone should take the time to unplug their phones, pick up an old book that you loved or maybe that guitar you’ve always wanted to get good at but never put the time and the effort into it. Take up that old hobby or passion and do it! It’s those types of things in your life that will give you the most joy, not watching someone else do it on youtube. Or look at the wonderful things other people have done on instagram.

There’s a whole world out there for you to explore, right out your doorstep. (And no, that doesn’t mean by catching them all through pokemon go. Though you could catch a few along the way…)

That felt deep.

I’m overwhelmed.

A lot has happened in the last few months. *chuckles* It feels like I lead with that line a lot, but honestly I’m a little overwhelmed with all of this.

In my latest update post, I made a confession that was hard to do. I thought, how do I bring something like that up? And to be truthful, it’s been difficult to admit it out loud.

I didn’t really notice or understand how badly the situation had affected me and it’s still very hard to talk about. It still feels very real. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to see certain things the same way. Sometimes I’ll think of things or I’ll see things that just remind me of things I wish I could just forget about. It’s like a bruise that’ll hurt forever but for different reasons and at random times.

I hurt for others. I hurt for all of those who live through what I went through every day of their lives. I see things now in public or online and it hurts a lot. I hurt because I’m more nervous and anxious than usual. I still flinch in certain situations. I’m sensitive to certain topics or subjects. I don’t want to be, but I am. It’s all still very traumatic. And most of it is irrational.

I find myself reminding myself that I’m not living that kind of life anymore. Reassuring myself that whatever happened will never happen again. That I’m safe now. 🙂 And I know all of this to be true, but it just hasn’t settled my anxiety yet.

But that’s not what’s overwhelming me the most. It’s not the sadness and anxiety, it’s the amount of happiness and joy that I’ve felt that’s what’s most overwhelming.

I learned to love again. Like really LOVE!

I’m seeing someone new. And he’s absolutely amazing. This guy encourages me to listen to music. Encourages me to just sit down and write. He’ll sing songs with me on the radio. He’s been the one to help me learn how to love again. He’s taught me how to love myself and everything that makes me, me. The amount of support and love he’s shown me has been overwhelming. I don’t even think he knows how much of a dream these last few weeks have been. He has not the slightest idea how much he’s helped me. There just aren’t enough words to describe how thankful I am to have him around.

I regained my love of music. I listen to music in the car now. I also put on music while I’m by myself at home. I didn’t realise how much I missed it. Like, I could honestly burst into tears. Joyful tears. Because, as I type this I’m sitting by myself listening to music. Something I had long forgotten how, or wasn’t allowed, to do. I had forgotten how to love music. How crazy is that? I’m shaking my head while re-reading it.

I’ve regained my love of writing. The ideas flow so smoothly out of my mind now. It was like I had a writer’s block that was so dense I never thought I’d write again. A blank page was so daunting. Now a blank page is a challenge, it’s so much just waiting to written out. All these ideas that I’ve had on the back burners in my mind are bursting through and my brain wants to write it all out. Get these stories out there fast!

And all of this freaks me out. I went from a point so low in my life to this! Within just a couple months. I feel better than I’ve ever felt before. My friends and family have been such a great support group. I don’t know what I’d do without them. I am just so, so grateful.

I’d like to thank my mom who came over for my birthday. It was a short visit but it was so perfect. My mother is one of my biggest inspirations and having her around helped me survive this huge event in my life. Also, a giant shout out to Heather. She’s been by my side through so much. I don’t know what I’d do without her. Girl, if you’re reading this, THANK YOU! .

To all my friends and family, you’ve all saved me. I am so thankful for having all of you in my life.

Gah, I know, I know. So serious, so deep. I’ll stop now. I’m making myself cry from being so darn happy. Sheesh. ❤

A lot has happened.

I’ve been trying to write this post for a long time now. How do I start it. I have so much on my mind. So much to say.

At first I thought well I should just say everything. In one long post. Explain exactly what has happened to me. Explain exactly how I feel. I realise now that it’s too much. It’s too much to write it all down in one sitting. It’s physically and mentally too exhausting.

I was abused.

I didn’t even realise what was happening at first. I didn’t see all the red flags. Almost a full year I stayed with that guy… He poisoned my mind. Told me I wasn’t good enough, told me I was bringing all of this upon myself. The insults, the cruelty, the hitting. It was all my fault. I won’t go into details because they truly are horrifying.

So it’s done. I got out of the toxic relationship that almost ruined me. Almost.

You see, I’m not this horrible person that he made me believe that I was. I’m not useless, stupid, dumb or pathetic.

I’m so much more than that. I’m nice, smart, lovable, talented, honest, etc. I’m a good person. And I almost forgot how great I was… I can’t believe I almost let this man control my life and change the way I think about myself.

Leaving him has changed my life around. I listen to music again, I have the itch to write again. I sing songs again. I smile now. I’ve become so strong and confident.

My advice to you:

If you’re in a relationship and you’re having doubts. Leave. Relationships are hard sometimes, but loving someone shouldn’t be hard. Love is supposed to come easily. If whoever you’re with puts you down and doesn’t support you and what you believe in. Leave him or her. It isn’t worth your time to be with someone who doesn’t make you happy. And if ever you are touched or hurt physically, you leave that person immediately. No ifs ands or buts. No matter how much he or she tells you they love you. You should never ever have to be hurt. (unless you’re into some weird sex stuff). Don’t let anyone lay a hand on you. If you’re having a hard time leaving a relationship, find someone you can trust. Get the help you need and leave that person. You’re worth it. Trust me, you are worth so much more than that.

 

 

Interview no.2 with Natalie LeBlanc

Good to have you back Natalie, how have you been lately?I’m fine, if you ignore all the bills, unbearable heat and the fact that my phone is broken…

Bah, that’s life right? Your phone is broken that sucks what happened?It won’t work anymore! The screen is broken… It started going all wonky and I knew it was going to happen. I just didn’t want to believe it so I pretended like it was going to fix itself. Honestly, I think I’m the reason why it broke in the first place. I was addicted to this game called Tap Titans. Seriously don’t download, it you’ll just waste your life away on that game… So addicting!

So you were playing an app and it broke your phone? Essentially yes, the phone kept overheating until it shut down! So I’m almost 100% sure that’s the reason why it broke. You know, I should have probably stopped playing it, but I had to level up, always had to level up.

How are you surviving without a phone?It’s been hard, not gonna lie. I don’t have my usual ‘Super Mario Underwater Theme’ ringtone to wake me up so I feel totally out of it all the time. Plus, now I need to write things down and carry an actual day planner. Haha just kidding, I think the hardest part is just not being able to communicate with friends and family. Oh and the instagrams! I need me the instagrams!!!

Sounds tough, what are you going to do? Well, my current phone plan is supposed to be done this October so I was thinking of switching companies. Because let’s be honest, who is ever satisfied with their current phone service… But as I’ve been looking around I’m not finding anything better than what I already have. And if I do find something else,  I’ll find something I won’t like about them either so I’ll probably just stay with what I have.

Anything else we should know about before we rap this up? Not really, I’m doing well, finally made some friends and I know my way around the area a little more. I almost got a dog, but that didn’t work out, so now I’m setting up all of the YouTube stuff and I’ll be ready to record and post sometime this week hopefully!

Almost got a dog? What happened? Yeah, I had found the cutest little thing online and I got really excited over it until it turned out to be a scam. Those cruel meanies.

Aww, that’s a shame. But YouTube you said? Finally starting that up? Yes ma’am! New computer is set up, new mic is ready to go. Just need to do a little filming and editing and we should be golden.

Well thank you so much for your time and hope everything goes well! Thank you for having me, though I feel a little crazy talking to myself once again.