What do you mean?

So here’s a quick update,

  1. Luc and I bought an aquarium and some fish.
  2. I’m starting school again really soon.
  3. I really enjoy cross stitching.

 

Alright enough of that, so I also had something really hilarious happen to me lately. Basically, Luc and I were texting each other one morning and the results were just too funny. Here’s what was said word for word.

Natalie: I don’t think I understood your last text.

Luc: What do you mean?

Natalie: Wow, I was just singing that song right now.

Luc: What song?

Natalie: What do you mean. It’s been stuck in my head all morning.

Luc: Natalie, I haven’t been home all morning, I couldn’t hear you singing.

(Facepalm)

Natalie: The song is called What do you mean by Justin Bieber.

Luc: Oh. That’s a stupid song name.

 

Literally the funniest text messages I have ever sent. To this day I can’t say what do you mean without cracking up. Reading over it now though it sounds kind of lame haha. Whatever. 😛

 

Connected Once Again.

Having no internet sucks. So the thought of moving and finding a new internet company seemed like a huge hassle. So I thought: ‘Hey, I kinda like the package that I’m using right now, I’ll just call them and tell them I want it transferred to the new location.’

It sounds dandy, but in reality it was horrible. We waited an entirety of 3 whole days for the dumbos to come install our internet but no one showed up, no one called to tell us why either. After the third stand up, enough was enough. I thanked them for their service but would not be needing it after all, called up the nearest provider that I knew was reliable and ended up getting an even better package than before. Nothing beats that!

So now I have the internet again which means I finally can get back to netflix! And cross stitching, seeing as all my patterns are online. Also video games! And buzzfeed oh and I listen to all my music on youtube so I get that back too! No more screaming heavy metal. yay.

To be completely honest though, it was kind of nice to not have any internet. I don’t want to seem rude but we were completely oblivious to what was happening out in the world. And it seems a lot had happened, horrible and tragic events that I’m sad about, but had no idea about without the internet.

Being disconnected made me want to lead a super simple life. It made me want to cook meals and try my hand at a little baking. It made me physically go to the movie store to rent some movies. It felt good to not be glued to a device or computer because I will admit, I use those a lot. It was also nice to not be constantly reminded of everyone’s birthdays on facebook.

I think everyone should take the time to unplug their phones, pick up an old book that you loved or maybe that guitar you’ve always wanted to get good at but never put the time and the effort into it. Take up that old hobby or passion and do it! It’s those types of things in your life that will give you the most joy, not watching someone else do it on youtube. Or look at the wonderful things other people have done on instagram.

There’s a whole world out there for you to explore, right out your doorstep. (And no, that doesn’t mean by catching them all through pokemon go. Though you could catch a few along the way…)

That felt deep.

I’m overwhelmed.

A lot has happened in the last few months. *chuckles* It feels like I lead with that line a lot, but honestly I’m a little overwhelmed with all of this.

In my latest update post, I made a confession that was hard to do. I thought, how do I bring something like that up? And to be truthful, it’s been difficult to admit it out loud.

I didn’t really notice or understand how badly the situation had affected me and it’s still very hard to talk about. It still feels very real. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to see certain things the same way. Sometimes I’ll think of things or I’ll see things that just remind me of things I wish I could just forget about. It’s like a bruise that’ll hurt forever but for different reasons and at random times.

I hurt for others. I hurt for all of those who live through what I went through every day of their lives. I see things now in public or online and it hurts a lot. I hurt because I’m more nervous and anxious than usual. I still flinch in certain situations. I’m sensitive to certain topics or subjects. I don’t want to be, but I am. It’s all still very traumatic. And most of it is irrational.

I find myself reminding myself that I’m not living that kind of life anymore. Reassuring myself that whatever happened will never happen again. That I’m safe now. 🙂 And I know all of this to be true, but it just hasn’t settled my anxiety yet.

But that’s not what’s overwhelming me the most. It’s not the sadness and anxiety, it’s the amount of happiness and joy that I’ve felt that’s what’s most overwhelming.

I learned to love again. Like really LOVE!

I’m seeing someone new. And he’s absolutely amazing. This guy encourages me to listen to music. Encourages me to just sit down and write. He’ll sing songs with me on the radio. He’s been the one to help me learn how to love again. He’s taught me how to love myself and everything that makes me, me. The amount of support and love he’s shown me has been overwhelming. I don’t even think he knows how much of a dream these last few weeks have been. He has not the slightest idea how much he’s helped me. There just aren’t enough words to describe how thankful I am to have him around.

I regained my love of music. I listen to music in the car now. I also put on music while I’m by myself at home. I didn’t realise how much I missed it. Like, I could honestly burst into tears. Joyful tears. Because, as I type this I’m sitting by myself listening to music. Something I had long forgotten how, or wasn’t allowed, to do. I had forgotten how to love music. How crazy is that? I’m shaking my head while re-reading it.

I’ve regained my love of writing. The ideas flow so smoothly out of my mind now. It was like I had a writer’s block that was so dense I never thought I’d write again. A blank page was so daunting. Now a blank page is a challenge, it’s so much just waiting to written out. All these ideas that I’ve had on the back burners in my mind are bursting through and my brain wants to write it all out. Get these stories out there fast!

And all of this freaks me out. I went from a point so low in my life to this! Within just a couple months. I feel better than I’ve ever felt before. My friends and family have been such a great support group. I don’t know what I’d do without them. I am just so, so grateful.

I’d like to thank my mom who came over for my birthday. It was a short visit but it was so perfect. My mother is one of my biggest inspirations and having her around helped me survive this huge event in my life. Also, a giant shout out to Heather. She’s been by my side through so much. I don’t know what I’d do without her. Girl, if you’re reading this, THANK YOU! .

To all my friends and family, you’ve all saved me. I am so thankful for having all of you in my life.

Gah, I know, I know. So serious, so deep. I’ll stop now. I’m making myself cry from being so darn happy. Sheesh. ❤

A lot has happened.

I’ve been trying to write this post for a long time now. How do I start it. I have so much on my mind. So much to say.

At first I thought well I should just say everything. In one long post. Explain exactly what has happened to me. Explain exactly how I feel. I realise now that it’s too much. It’s too much to write it all down in one sitting. It’s physically and mentally too exhausting.

I was abused.

I didn’t even realise what was happening at first. I didn’t see all the red flags. Almost a full year I stayed with that guy… He poisoned my mind. Told me I wasn’t good enough, told me I was bringing all of this upon myself. The insults, the cruelty, the hitting. It was all my fault. I won’t go into details because they truly are horrifying.

So it’s done. I got out of the toxic relationship that almost ruined me. Almost.

You see, I’m not this horrible person that he made me believe that I was. I’m not useless, stupid, dumb or pathetic.

I’m so much more than that. I’m nice, smart, lovable, talented, honest, etc. I’m a good person. And I almost forgot how great I was… I can’t believe I almost let this man control my life and change the way I think about myself.

Leaving him has changed my life around. I listen to music again, I have the itch to write again. I sing songs again. I smile now. I’ve become so strong and confident.

My advice to you:

If you’re in a relationship and you’re having doubts. Leave. Relationships are hard sometimes, but loving someone shouldn’t be hard. Love is supposed to come easily. If whoever you’re with puts you down and doesn’t support you and what you believe in. Leave him or her. It isn’t worth your time to be with someone who doesn’t make you happy. And if ever you are touched or hurt physically, you leave that person immediately. No ifs ands or buts. No matter how much he or she tells you they love you. You should never ever have to be hurt. (unless you’re into some weird sex stuff). Don’t let anyone lay a hand on you. If you’re having a hard time leaving a relationship, find someone you can trust. Get the help you need and leave that person. You’re worth it. Trust me, you are worth so much more than that.

 

 

Interview no.2 with Natalie LeBlanc

Good to have you back Natalie, how have you been lately?I’m fine, if you ignore all the bills, unbearable heat and the fact that my phone is broken…

Bah, that’s life right? Your phone is broken that sucks what happened?It won’t work anymore! The screen is broken… It started going all wonky and I knew it was going to happen. I just didn’t want to believe it so I pretended like it was going to fix itself. Honestly, I think I’m the reason why it broke in the first place. I was addicted to this game called Tap Titans. Seriously don’t download, it you’ll just waste your life away on that game… So addicting!

So you were playing an app and it broke your phone? Essentially yes, the phone kept overheating until it shut down! So I’m almost 100% sure that’s the reason why it broke. You know, I should have probably stopped playing it, but I had to level up, always had to level up.

How are you surviving without a phone?It’s been hard, not gonna lie. I don’t have my usual ‘Super Mario Underwater Theme’ ringtone to wake me up so I feel totally out of it all the time. Plus, now I need to write things down and carry an actual day planner. Haha just kidding, I think the hardest part is just not being able to communicate with friends and family. Oh and the instagrams! I need me the instagrams!!!

Sounds tough, what are you going to do? Well, my current phone plan is supposed to be done this October so I was thinking of switching companies. Because let’s be honest, who is ever satisfied with their current phone service… But as I’ve been looking around I’m not finding anything better than what I already have. And if I do find something else,  I’ll find something I won’t like about them either so I’ll probably just stay with what I have.

Anything else we should know about before we rap this up? Not really, I’m doing well, finally made some friends and I know my way around the area a little more. I almost got a dog, but that didn’t work out, so now I’m setting up all of the YouTube stuff and I’ll be ready to record and post sometime this week hopefully!

Almost got a dog? What happened? Yeah, Derek and I had found the cutest little thing online and we got really excited over it until it turned out to be a scam. Those cruel meanies.

Aww, that’s a shame. But YouTube you said? Finally starting that up? Yes ma’am! New computer is set up, new mic is ready to go. Just need to do a little filming and editing and we should be golden. Oh also, our channel and other social media things will go by the name of Natrek. Combination of Natalie and Derek, duh!

Well thank you so much for your time and hope everything goes well! Thank you for having me, though I feel a little crazy talking to myself once again.

What am I watching?

They say dog is man’s best friend, but I’m sure Netflix is a close second. Right? Am I the only one who thinks that?

Anyways, I thought it would be fun to share what shows I have recently finished watching as well as the ones I am currently into. I’ll also be starting a best shows list with ratings from 1-5. So to start this off, here’s a huge list of what I’m watching! Warning: As you continue reading, there may be spoilers!

The Walking Dead Completed

Vampire Diaries Completed

Sherlock Completed

Attack On Titan Completed

Free! – Iwatobi Swim Club Completed

Free!: Eternal Summer Completed

Clannad Completed

Steven Universe Completed

K-ON! Completed

The 100 Completed

Grey’s Anatomy Currently Watching

Game of Thrones Currently Watching

Fear the Walking Dead Currently Watching

The Office Currently Watching

Puella Magi Madoka Magica Currently Watching

Clannad After Story Currently Watching

Avatar the Last Airbender Currently Watching

Fairy Tail Currently Watching

Walking-Dead-AMC

I’ve been watching The Walking Dead since it first started airing. I’ve finished watching it up until season 5 and will continue to watch it as the episodes continue. I really enjoy the show as well as the games and comic books but, In all honesty, I’ve been a little disappointed. With every season I feel like the show is losing qualities that made me like it so much. I sit there for an hour and literally nothing happens. I could skip entire episodes and it wouldn’t bother me one bit. They just need to get on with it. Also I’m very disappointed in season 5’s script writing. It’s so dry. No one exchanges conversations like that ever. Don’t get me wrong, I still love the show. I just hope next season will be a little better and I’m very excited to see how Fear the Walking Dead is going to do. My hopes are high. I give this show a 4 out of 5

vampire diariesI avoided the Vampire Diaries forever because someone told me it was bad. I don’t know why the heck I listened to them! I decided to give it a try when I stumbled upon it on Netflix. That show is freakin fabulous. Yes, the characters are over dramatic and Elena is annoying but the show is so addicting. If you read a lot of YA books and enjoy supernatural beings, watch this! Just do it! I binge watched all the way up to Season 5 and I’m patiently waiting for season 6 to be put on Netflix. 5 out of 5 for this one!

SherlockI knew if I watched Sherlock I would love it and I was right. Holy moly it’s a freakin’ good show! Each episode is like an hour and a half long and there are only 3 episodes per season but boy it’s worth it! This is exactly what I picture a modern Sherlock to be like. I watched this show with my sister and we both are really into it. Season 4 will be just as good, I’m sure of it! 5 our of 5!

attack on titanI watched this anime with Derek because everyone else in the world seemed to be watching it. This show is really well done and I seriously wish there was more than just the 25 episodes. I want to know what happens next aahh! Oh and word of advice, watch the the english sub not dub because I thought the voice acting wasn’t attractive. 4 out of 5.

free!I’m going to put these next two together because It’s basically season 1 and 2. Free!- Iwatobi Swim Club and Free! Eternal Summer was something I just recently watched because my friends at work swear on it. I was actually really into it. It’s an anime about these high school kids rekindling their love for swimming by starting up a swim club at their school. It actually made me crave to go swimming so bad that I signed up at a public pool and I now go swimming regularly. The only thing I didn’t like was Rin Matsuoka’s teeth. They were sharp like a shark’s which is probably the point they wanted to make but I don’t like when animes do that. Who in the world has shark teeth. Other than that, it was a great anime! I liked it a lot! 5 out of 5.

K-onK-ON! Such a cute little anime about these girls starting a band in high school. The music in this anime is freakin’ rockin’. It was really entertaining even if some of the episodes were just random filler. Sometimes you need show like that, light and cute. I’d give this a 5 out of 5 but it’s just a cute anime. Not deep enough and dramatic enough for that golden 5.

clannadI had seen pictures of Clannad everywhere because the artwork is gorgeous. And it’s mentioned on so many anime lists online that it was about time I watch this. There are some parts that are a little confusing with the whole alternate universe thing but it’s so good! I love Nagisa and Tomoya’s relationship! They are friggen’ cute. I know what happens in Clannad After Story with Nagisa but I haven’t gotten to that episode yet and I don’t want to!! If you watch the anime, you’ll understand. 5 out of 5 for this one!

P.S. Fuko is adorable!!

steven universeSteven Universe was a show my friend is highly in love with and she sucked me into it. This show actually blew me away. I like how the viewer learns about the characters almost at the same speed as the main character. You learn little things every episode that help you piece this giant puzzle together. This show is funny, sad and deep. Definitely more than I was expecting out of a regular cartoon. I’m caught up to the end so far but I think they will be releasing more episodes in the next coming months.I give this a 5 out of 5.

the 100The 100 is another show I randomly started watching on Netflix. It’s surprisingly good and the actors are getting better and better by the episode. It is very realistic and I think anyone could enjoy it. It is kind of similar to Vampire Diaries though because so much happens every episode and it’s constantly like these big dramatic things that happen! But it’s good and I will be giving it a 5 out of 5.

And that’s about it for now. Let me know if you’ve watched any of these shows and by all means make recommendations for shows I should watch next!

Summer Favorites 2015

wpid-wp-1438295569538.jpgIt’s been really hot these last few days. Like way hotter than anything I’m used to back on the island. I’m kind of missing the cool ocean breeze right about now. But hey, it’s summer! What did you expect? As I’m sitting here by my fan, listening to the cicadas outside, I thought it would be a great idea to post my favorite items that I’ve been into this summer.

So first on the list is my personal recommendation for a summer read, Me Before You by Jojo Moyes in one of my favorite books. It’s about a young woman who gets hired as a caretaker for a quadriplegic man, it was honestly such an amazing book. Perfect for your cottage weekend getaway or if you’re just tanning out in the sun!

Derek recently bought me Captain Toad for the Wii U and it’s such a great game! Each level is like a puzzle and Captain Toad has to find the stars but he isn’t capable of jumping so you need to rotate the map and move things around in order to complete each one. Though some levels are tricky and very frustrating, it’s a perfect way to unwind.

Next on my list is a Brumisateur by Evian. Basically it’s a water based facial spray that you will never regret buying. Basically if you’re at the beach, park, lake and you feel kind of sticky and gross just spray a bit on and it’ll cool you right off, without taking all your makeup off. (I recommend this for people who have weddings in the summer, don’t wanna look all nasty for those photos)

Though a cold shower would be nice right now, I still love taking baths late at night no matter how hot it is. I’ve always wanted to try LUSH beauty products but just never had the time or money to get any, but I finally made my way to one a couple weeks ago and ended up getting a few bath products for myself. The bath bombs are amazing. Like seriously, I feel like a queen while taking a bath with one of those bad boys. The one in the picture is Phoenix Rising which is a mixture of spicy apple and cinnamon. And I believe, now don’t quote me on this, but this bath bomb is going to be discontinued so now’s a good time to try one out if you haven’t already.

My favorite summer snack is obviously cherries. Actually I love all berries in the summer but I find the cherries are the ones I tend to gravitate to the most. The other berries in my fridge get a little neglected. Some people say the pits are just a pain, but they’re so delicious and good for you with their powerful antioxidants. But don’t eat too many too fast, your stomach won’t like you for it.

And how could this list be complete without a candle. The one I just bought from Bath and Body Works is called Pink Apple Punch. It’s amazing and smells just like candy or a freezie. I light this puppy up all the time and I might even buy myself a second one just in case the scent goes away forever. I definitely recommend these candles, the aroma fills my whole apartment up!

Oh also, not featured in this list is Spotify! Which I didn’t even realise was available in Canada, so please check it out. There are some great playlists for any time of the day or any kind of mood.

So there you have it, my list of Summer Favorites 2015. I hope you enjoyed the post and I hope you get a chance to try some of these products out!