I’m overwhelmed.

A lot has happened in the last few months. *chuckles* It feels like I lead with that line a lot, but honestly I’m a little overwhelmed with all of this.

In my latest update post, I made a confession that was hard to do. I thought, how do I bring something like that up? And to be truthful, it’s been difficult to admit it out loud.

I didn’t really notice or understand how badly the situation had affected me and it’s still very hard to talk about. It still feels very real. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to see certain things the same way. Sometimes I’ll think of things or I’ll see things that just remind me of things I wish I could just forget about. It’s like a bruise that’ll hurt forever but for different reasons and at random times.

I hurt for others. I hurt for all of those who live through what I went through every day of their lives. I see things now in public or online and it hurts a lot. I hurt because I’m more nervous and anxious than usual. I still flinch in certain situations. I’m sensitive to certain topics or subjects. I don’t want to be, but I am. It’s all still very traumatic. And most of it is irrational.

I find myself reminding myself that I’m not living that kind of life anymore. Reassuring myself that whatever happened will never happen again. That I’m safe now. 🙂 And I know all of this to be true, but it just hasn’t settled my anxiety yet.

But that’s not what’s overwhelming me the most. It’s not the sadness and anxiety, it’s the amount of happiness and joy that I’ve felt that’s what’s most overwhelming.

I learned to love again. Like really LOVE!

I’m seeing someone new. And he’s absolutely amazing. This guy encourages me to listen to music. Encourages me to just sit down and write. He’ll sing songs with me on the radio. He’s been the one to help me learn how to love again. He’s taught me how to love myself and everything that makes me, me. The amount of support and love he’s shown me has been overwhelming. I don’t even think he knows how much of a dream these last few weeks have been. He has not the slightest idea how much he’s helped me. There just aren’t enough words to describe how thankful I am to have him around.

I regained my love of music. I listen to music in the car now. I also put on music while I’m by myself at home. I didn’t realise how much I missed it. Like, I could honestly burst into tears. Joyful tears. Because, as I type this I’m sitting by myself listening to music. Something I had long forgotten how, or wasn’t allowed, to do. I had forgotten how to love music. How crazy is that? I’m shaking my head while re-reading it.

I’ve regained my love of writing. The ideas flow so smoothly out of my mind now. It was like I had a writer’s block that was so dense I never thought I’d write again. A blank page was so daunting. Now a blank page is a challenge, it’s so much just waiting to written out. All these ideas that I’ve had on the back burners in my mind are bursting through and my brain wants to write it all out. Get these stories out there fast!

And all of this freaks me out. I went from a point so low in my life to this! Within just a couple months. I feel better than I’ve ever felt before. My friends and family have been such a great support group. I don’t know what I’d do without them. I am just so, so grateful.

I’d like to thank my mom who came over for my birthday. It was a short visit but it was so perfect. My mother is one of my biggest inspirations and having her around helped me survive this huge event in my life. Also, a giant shout out to Heather. She’s been by my side through so much. I don’t know what I’d do without her. Girl, if you’re reading this, THANK YOU! .

To all my friends and family, you’ve all saved me. I am so thankful for having all of you in my life.

Gah, I know, I know. So serious, so deep. I’ll stop now. I’m making myself cry from being so darn happy. Sheesh. ❤

Us by David Nicholls

Us David Nicholls

I’m really bad for keeping up with the must read or must watch things. For instance, I’ve never watched Mean Girls or the Notebook nor have I ever finished a Nicholas Sparks book or even something like My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult. You wouldn’t believe the amount of people with shocked expressions saying ‘You’ve never watched Mean Girls????’

Anyways, I’ve never watched or read One Day by David Nicholls, so I wasn’t sure what to expect with Us. I received a copy of this book so I could give it a review and here it is:

I truly enjoyed this book. The story is about Douglas’s attempt to patch up his broken family. When his wife tells him she wants to leave him, they all decide to go on a grand tour across Europe. Almost like a big finale to their life together, as well as a perfect opportunity to teach Albie, their son valuable lessons before he sets off to college. After a very unfortunate turn of events, Albie runs away from his parents to pursue his own adventure while Douglas and Connie decide to call it quits and head home. Just as they are about to board the plane, Douglas decides that he needs to do something about his family that is literally falling apart. He decides to go find his son and fix whatever it is that needs fixing between them. He’s not ready to give up on his family.

At first I didn’t understand Douglas and Connie’s relationship, they both had so many flaws but the more I read into the book the more I realized everyone is like that really. You start off by thinking that Douglas never tried hard enough but you quickly start to like him a lot more.

I enjoyed the way the book was written in small tiny chapters so I never felt like it was a chore to keep reading because I knew I just had to flip a page to get to the next chapter. Also, the chapter names were all very unique and sometimes were in the language of where the chapter was taking place. For example, Italian words if they were in Italy.

The only thing that kind of confused me was the jumping between the past and the present between each chapter. But all in all, it was pretty easy to follow. It’s a good light read that is very easy to relate to. This would make a great gift for any regular fiction lover. You like Nicholas Sparks? This book is for you. You like the Rosie Project? This book is for you. It’s very versatile for many different kinds of interests.

I’ll give this book a 8 out of 10!

Fan Girl by Rainbow Rowell

I didn’t like this book.

Gah, it makes me so mad that I didn’t like it too! I completely fell in love with Rainbow Rowell’s Eleanor and Park which is why I was so excited when Fangirl came out… It’s about a girl, Cath, who is a hardcore fangirl. Cath writes fanfiction for a series of fictional books called Simon Snow that are comparable to the Harry Potter book but with a vampire twist. She takes a writing class in university, develops the cutest relationship with a sweetheart working at Starbucks. I should have loved this book!

The problem was that I didn’t really like the main character at all. I felt like the she responded to situations and acted in other just made me frustrated. Everything about her, to me, felt a little off. Maybe it was because I couldn’t relate to her enough? I don’t have a twin sister and my parents aren’t separated. But surely I can feel something for Cath, right? I’m disappointed in myself for not liking her.

It honestly feels like I’ve let the entire book down because all in all, it was really well written and very unique. It was supposed to be something that I was going to fall in love with too… 😦

The only other explanation I can give as to why I didn’t like the book would be because of a book hangover. A book hangover is something that happens when you read something that is so good, you can’t appreciate anything else you read after it. I had just finished Richard C. Morais’s Hundred Foot Journey which was amazing from start to finish (review will follow eventually). But that is merely an excuse. I just don’t think I liked the main character. That’s it, that’s all.

I give Fangirl a 4 out of 10 on my scale of book awesomeness. 😦

(Please don’t kill me Book Gods)

Landing Gear by Kate Pullinger

landing gear kate pullingerI read this book not long after I read Little Bee by Chris Cleave, which probably influenced my opinion a lot. This story is about an immigrant that tries to fly back to his country in the compartment of the landing gear, hence the book’s name: Landing Gear.

The book takes you through many different character’s perspectives and how each character was influenced by this man who happened to fall right out of the landing gear hatch. The woman who found the man had a seemingly normal life but really their life seemed more like a living time bomb. Something was about to go down and when it did, it was going to be big.

The one thing I didn’t particularly like about this book was that the characters were very unrealistic. The way they acted and responded to certain situation was so weird. Almost as if they were too calm about things or they just didn’t feel normal to me. I also didn’t like some of the formatting of the book. At certain points the characters would have thoughts and it would kind of look like this on the page:

***

 

Bertha: I am feeling hungry for a sandwich.

Tom: I wonder if she is thinking about me right now.

                                                        Kate: I should really take a bath.

***

Like what the heck? How am I supposed to enjoy that kind of reading. Note: I added some names so it would be easier for you, the book never put the names so you kind of had to guess who was thinking.

Anyways, enough ranting. I didn’t like this book personally, but I still would recommend it to people who want to read something with a crazy plot.

It’s going to be a 3 out of 10 on my scale. 😦 Kinda wished it would have been better.

 

Mario Party 1, 2 and 3 for N64

Mario Party 1,2 and 3 for N64First of all, I will start by explaining that I got my Nintendo 64 from a family member and they gave me all of their extra games. It wasn’t much but I managed to salvage other games from pawn shops or flea markets.

I originally had Mario Party 2 then I bought the two other ones. Mario Party isn’t like your average platform based Mario game. Mario Party is more like a role playing game where you play as a character and you go around a board game while trying to collect stars and coins.

The stars can be purchased at a certain area on the board and you have to get there in order to buy it. (It always costed 20 coins unless if the rules had special exceptions but that only happens later on in the mario party series.) Coins were either collected on special places on the board or if you won mini games. The mini games were my favorite part. They are pretty simple and easy to master but whoever invented them was incredibly creative. If you won the mini game, you received a certain amount of coins.  You won the game by having the most stars.

It’s a pretty simple concept for a game. Great to play with friends or family members. I recommend these games for anyone but if you find that someone is too young and that they get frustrated easily… you can add a handicap to help them out a little. (I’ve had experience when playing with my little sister. haha)

I give these 3 games a 10 out of 10.

And so I’m off.

Yesterday, I had to say goodbye to my mother and my sister because my dad was driving me all the way to Ottawa so I could live with my boyfriend for a week before starting university. Man it wasn’t easy saying goodbye to my friends and family.

I went around the neighborhood and started saying my goodbyes giving last pieces of advice. I want to say that I’ll see everyone again but to be completely honest with you, that might not be possible. Growing up with these people my entire life and in an instant I may never see them again. Graduation was tough because I know it was the last time I will see many of my friends. It doesn’t help when you went to a small school with a graduating class of just over 20 and you’ve been with those 20 people your entire life.

Saying goodbye to my family was the worse though. We were so close. Ate dinner around the table every night and had hilarious conversations. I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect family for me. My sister and I got along very well, we played video games together, could talk about anything, had almost all the same interests…(I don’t like country music). My little cousin came to see me on the night before I left and she gave me the cutest card with a poem that broke my heart.

I said goodbye to my dad this morning and that was it. The last of my goodbyes. He is proud of me and knows I will do well so that made me happy.

Here’s tip number three:

When you say your goodbyes, keep them light and uplifting. You aren’t dying, you’re moving out. It’s supposed to be exciting.

It’s funny how I feel like I’m going to die. All of my aunts and uncles were saying how it was the last time I would do this and that. Haha. I will be back there soon though, really soon. And I’m really excited to be moving out and starting this new chapter in my life. It will be exciting and challenging and fresh. Which is exactly what I needed.

Here is a picture of all the things I am bringing with me… all that im bringing

I know, it’s a lot… That’s not including my basket of clothes, bag of hangers and yoga mat, printer, little stool and pillow!

I’m so excited to get moved in!!!! This will be so much fun!

Here is tip number four:

Don’t pack everything you own. If you do, you’ll end up like me and have to repack everything three times and go through every item and really contemplate if I absolutely need it or not.