I’m excited to share that I’ve taken up reading again. I may have mentioned it in the past, but lately (aka last few years) it’s been hard to get back into the habit of reading.
Firstly, I was working at Chapters, which you may or may not know is a bookstore. How do you feel interested in wanting to read a book when you’re constantly being drilled information about books and what they’re about. I didn’t even bother reading the books I was recommending because I felt as if I already knew what they were about and how they ended. Obviously, I had no idea what these books were about but I kept buying them and recommending them.
Secondly, I started university. I’m in a modern languages program so you can guess correctly that I do a lot of scholarly reading for school. Who wants to pick up a book for leisure when you’re having to finish an old-ass book from the 17-18th century. They call it modern languages, but you only really read old books. I shouldn’t say that though. Some of the readings were more modern and I’m currently enrolled in a couple classes that seem like they’ll be more modern than what I’m used to. But the excuse still stands. Ain’t no way I’m reading during my free time when I can barely keep up with the readings for class.
Lastly, I had lost my passion for many things during a past relationship and it’s been both a struggle and a journey to rediscover these passions that I had convinced myself were worthless and pointless. I am proud of the progress I’ve made, and trust me there’s been plenty. However, I know that there is still a lot more healing and struggling to do. Reading is one of those.
Last year, right around the time we got our dog, Winston, I was re-reading a series from my childhood called Pendragon by D.J. Machale. It’s a 10 book series that is super amazing and I’ve read them over and over again, but it’s been about a decade now and I’m so glad I’m re-reading them. Last year though, my dog ate the third book, which evidently was the one that I was currently enjoying. This is how it went down.
Luc and I walked into our apartment to see what kind of damage our new doggo was causing this time. He had only been left alone for about an hour while we did groceries. I look around and immediately see paper everywhere. I peer down and realize that these papers are from a book, my favorite series’ book number 3. One deep breath and I put the dog on his leash and announced that I couldn’t clean this mess and took the dog for a walk. At this point, Luc has no idea which book got destroyed (it’s that unrecognizable). I let him clean the mess, because I’m sure that if I do, I’ll break down. Sure enough, when I come back inside Luc has that sad ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ face. He knew I loved those books and that I was reading that exact one. I still love my dog and I didn’t scold him, but boys oh boys was I mad. And as always, this was one of those situations where they don’t make that style of book cover anymore so if I replace it, it’ll stick out like a sore thumb on my bookshelf. So I put off buying another one and was turned off from reading for a bit.
The good news is that I found a copy of the exact book that was destroyed at a thrift shop! They only had the one book from the entire series so to quote the series: “It was the way it was meant to be.” I have finished that particular book a while back and have just started book 5 yesterday. I’ll make the review in two batches. One for books 1-5, and the other for books 5-10.
I’ve also taken the time to put a different kind of book by my bedside table. Currently it’s Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly. I’m almost done of it and it’s surprised me in more ways than I thought it would. For a book that I’ve been recommending for years, I had no idea what it was actually about and I’m so glad that I’m finally taking the time to read it. I’ll post a review on that one as soon as I finish it.
On a side note, this blog has been kind of like an outlet for me lately, I’ve poured my heart out into this thing, not really wanting anyone to read it, but more to be able to take it off my shoulders. I’ve been feeling better and stronger, but I’m kind of getting bored of my endless dissertations. Personally, I wouldn’t want to follow along with a blog that all they did was rant and talk about boring personal stuff in these long posts that seem to have no end. Thank you for letting me use this platform in my healing process. My goal is not to have someone read all of this, it’s more to let myself write freely without the fear of holding back. So expect this type of writing in the future as well as other types of posts as well.